Free Personal Development and Self-Improvement Resources

I believe that one of the most exciting things about life is the fact that from one day to the next we can develop, grow and become more than we were yesterday.

There is an incredible industry out there that generates a huge amount of courses, workshops, books, DVDs, CDs and other forms of media that promise to help you improve your life and develop yourself into a much better human being.

The vast majority of this information you can buy is wonderful and packed full of things that will genuinely help you. The main problem tends to be that people starting out on a journey of personal growth, especially if abundant wealth is one of their key aims, do not have a huge amount of money to throw at it.

This hub is designed for you. It does not aim to replace any form of course, media or literature that you can purchase. It aims to give practical tips, advice and also guidance as to where you can get further information for free or for very little financial outlay. If you have any information that you can add, please make a comment, or contact me to make changes and additions that will help others.

It is my work and passion to help other people to improve their lives. Through this process I am helping myself to improve and I can continue to set new standards for myself to aspire to reach. It is a wonderful win-win situation and I encourage you to find similar in your own life.

Two of the most frequent reasons that people seek personal development programmes or undertake coaching is because of a lack of confidence or self-esteem. These things don't normally affect all areas of a person's life, although it is possible. For example, someone who is confident at work may feel unconfident in a social setting like dating.

1. Fake-it-til-you-make-it:

Pretend to be confident until you feel it! Stand with your head held high and your shoulders back. If it is culturally acceptable, maintain eye contact (although try not to stare). Talk louder than you would normally be inclined to do and if you have difficulties making small talk or answering questions, then prepare some standard questions that you can ask and prepare your answer for each one!

Be prepared to be the first to ask a question and don't worry if someone waits for 5 minutes before asking you anything! Let them talk and you'll find you begin to relax. Think about questions that you can use to dig a little deeper. e.g. What's your line of work? That sounds interesting, have you been doing that long? Do you enjoy it?

Over time, this will all become more natural - you really do have to go through the pain of doing it to get to the other side!

2. Affirmations:

These can really help you to change the way you think and what you believe about yourself. A good affirmation is written in the positive and the present tense. It is simply a statement, normally beginning with the words "I am", that you repeat several times to yourself and repeat the process 3 or 4 times per day, or as often as you remember. Over time, this serves to re-program your thinking so that you will begin to live the truth of the affirmation.

At first, it can seem like a lie, because you are making a statement about yourself that you do not believe. It really helps if you believe that the statement can be true at some point in the future, however it is not beneficial to use future tense - e.g. I am going to be...

Good affirmations:

• I am confident and meet challenges with a smile.
• I am happy with myself
• I am beautiful and loving
• I am safe and secure at all times

Bad affirmations:

• I am not scared (make it positive - e.g. I am bold and brave)
• I am going to be happy (make it present tense - I am happy)
• I am not angry any more (make it positive - e.g. I am calm)

The first place I would advise anyone to look is at following two part video from Tim Gallwey which show an approach to learning that is extremely powerful.

You are about to watch Tim teach a lady to play tennis (who has barely lifted a tennis racket before) using some of the techniques that he has developed over the years. The whole process takes around 30 minutes. In truth, the video does the talking here and there is no need for an overly long explanation.

The principles shown here apply to anything you can think of learning or improving. This is an extraordinarily powerful tool that you can apply in your life. For further reading, check out Tim's range of books on Amazon - including the Inner Game of Golf and the Inner Game of Work.

This form of coaching is reputed to have given birth to Life Coaching and Executive Coaching. There is clearly truth in this, however there have always been people throughout history who have "taught" or as I prefer, "empowered" others in this way.

UPDATE: The original videos have now been removed from youtube, I've linked an alternative one in now that gives an overview of Tim's work.

Further Information and Reading

• W. Timothy Gallwey on Wikipedia

• The Inner Game - W. Timothy Gallwey Official Site

Fear and limiting beliefs stop us doing things. They create patterns of behaviour and affect our dreams and goals in life. Fears are fairly well known and it is easy to feel the effects of them, however limiting beliefs are, for the most part, unidentified within us.

Overcoming fear is certainly not an easy thing to do and there are numerous courses and books available as well as resources online that can help. The majority of these things cost money and in the interests of keeping costs down, here are a few pointers for you.

The first thing to do is to get hold of a copy of "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. There's an Amazon link above and to the right to save time finding it. The second thing to do is to get as much information off the net as you can (the majority of which you'll find is included in Susan Jeffers' book). Here are a couple of suggestions for you to get started:

• Steve Pavlina's Overcoming Fear Podcast
• DealingWithFear.Org

Overcoming limiting beliefs is a little more tricky. First we need to identify them. I have a little tip that helps me to start this process:

When you notice that you are behaving in a way that doesn't quite feel like you, or when you react to something in a way that is out of character, ask yourself some of the following questions:

• What's really going on here?
• Why have I reacted in this way?
• What am I thinking right now about this situation that has caused me to react like this?
• What do I believe about this person that is making me respond in this way?
• What do I believe about myself that is making me respond in this way?
• Why am I behaving in this way?
• Is there something on my mind that is causing me to behave in this way?

The first step with limiting beliefs is to identify them and these questions will help you do that. It can be difficult to do this alone and in that case I'd recommend Coaching, EFT or some other type of therapy.

• Life Coaching on FreeIndex.co.uk
• EFT Directory on FreeIndex.co.uk

Once identified, you can then decide whether or not this belief is something that serves you. If not, then you can use affirmations or therapy to remove these beliefs and change them into more positive ones.

Common limiting beliefs are:

• I am not safe
• I am not secure
• I am not worth anything
• My opinions aren't important
• People don't understand me
• I can't talk to people
• Nobody loves me
• The world is a scary place

These and others can be turned into positive, present tense affirmations which can help over time to remove these beliefs.

It's worth stressing that they are hard to spot - there is certainly a great deal of benefit to be had from working these things through with a qualified practitioner.

Fear and Limiting Beliefs come between you and the person you'd like to be. Without removing some or all of these things, your personal development and self-improvement will never be as good as you want it to be. If you constantly find yourself doing personal development or self-improvement and you make changes for a while and then somehow the old habits come back, then it's likely that you have some fear or some limiting beliefs holding you back.